Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Lesson 9 — Future Husband

Husbanding, God’s Way

This part will help you identify your own beliefs about a husband’s role, understand what your partner believes, study what Scripture says, and adjust your expectations to match God’s design.

Write your “Ideal Husband” article, interview a godly husband, then complete both scorecards below — one evaluating yourself, one evaluating your future wife.

This page is only for the person filling it out — your partner will complete their own copy separately.

Full Name

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Write your “Ideal Husband” article. Build on: “An ideal husband is…” and “In marriage, I think the husband should…” Be specific and practical, using Ephesians 5:25–33; 1 Peter 3:7–8; 1 Timothy 3:4–5, 5:8; Colossians 3:19; Proverbs 31:10–31; Genesis 2:18–25 as you write.

Meet with a godly, experienced husband and ask about a husband’s responsibilities, what “head of the wife” means, managing the home, meeting his wife’s needs, building friendship, and leading without crushing her ideas. What did you learn?

Scorecard for Future Husbands — Evaluate Yourself

Rate 0 to 4

0 = never, 4 = regularly.

Be Honest

Praise God where you score high; work on where you score 2 or lower.

1. I plan my time so that I can spend time with my partner.

Your Score

2. I am courteous to her and treat her with respect.

Your Score

3. I listen to her suggestions, advice, and complaints without defensiveness.

Your Score

4. I communicate with her — telling her what I’m doing, where I’m going, my daily schedule.

Your Score

5. I am on time for dates and call her if an emergency will make me late.

Your Score

6. I help my partner with her responsibilities.

Your Score

7. I make time for the two of us to be alone together.

Your Score

8. I refrain from shouting, abusing, talking harshly, or making unreasonable demands on her.

Your Score

9. I refrain from using force (physical or psychological) to get my own way.

Your Score

10. I avoid talking to her about women in a way that implies she is inferior.

Your Score

11. I am willing to work hard enough to adequately provide for household and personal expenses.

Your Score

12. I work on keeping myself physically attractive.

Your Score

13. I seek her counsel and advice.

Your Score

14. I look for positive qualities and behavior and enthusiastically commend her.

Your Score

15. I show respect and esteem for her around people; I am courteous and mannerly with her.

Your Score

16. I avoid being a nitpicker, making mountains out of molehills.

Your Score

17. I love sharing my ideas, interests, and life with her.

Your Score

18. I listen to her even when the topic doesn’t interest me.

Your Score

19. I am a fun person to be with; I take life and myself seriously, but not too seriously.

Your Score

20. I try to change any habits that are annoying to her.

Your Score

21. I try to see things from her perspective and am interested in her viewpoints.

Your Score

22. I try to love her in the way she wants to be loved.

Your Score

23. I lead spiritually by serving, praying, and setting an example.

Your Score

24. I am sensitive to her problems and difficulties and try to be an encouragement to her.

Your Score

25. I act like she is the most important person in my life next to the Lord; I communicate appreciation.

Your Score

List all items you scored 2, 1, or 0. Pray, think about, discuss, and plan how to improve on these.

Scorecard for Future Wives — Evaluate Your Future Wife

Rate 0 to 4

0 = never, 4 = regularly.

Be Honest

Your honest assessment helps you both prepare for marriage God’s way.

1. She takes pride in her bedroom, apartment, or home by making it attractive and cheerful.

Your Score

2. She handles her finances responsibly.

Your Score

3. She keeps herself attractive in appearance.

Your Score

4. She is a good sport — cheerful, uncomplaining, appreciative, not a nag.

Your Score

5. She is willing to let me have my own way and the last word when we disagree.

Your Score

6. She avoids making a fuss over minor problems she should handle alone.

Your Score

7. She respects and admires me, making sure I know I’m valued above others.

Your Score

8. She shows courtesy and consideration to my parents and other relatives.

Your Score

9. She supports my work while giving me space and time for it.

Your Score

10. She takes interest in my friends and hobbies so we can enjoy time together.

Your Score

11. She prays regularly with and for me and maintains a good devotional life.

Your Score

12. She seeks my counsel on important decisions.

Your Score

13. She supports my decisions and cheerfully assists me in fulfilling them.

Your Score

14. She shows respect and esteem for me around other people.

Your Score

15. She lovingly shares her ideas, problems, joys, interests, and affection with me regularly.

Your Score

16. She avoids shouting and screaming at me.

Your Score

17. She refrains from using force, threats, or punishment to get her own way.

Your Score

18. She avoids letting friends or activities interfere with time to fulfill my desires.

Your Score

19. She refrains from embarrassing me or putting me down.

Your Score

20. She keeps herself internally as well as externally attractive.

Your Score

21. She is a “fun person” to be with.

Your Score

22. She keeps appointments, is on time for dates, and calls if plans change.

Your Score

23. She accepts responsibilities and faithfully fulfills them.

Your Score

24. She is sensitive to my problems and difficulties and tries to encourage me.

Your Score

25. She tries to change habits that are annoying to me.

Your Score

List items on which you would like to see improvement.

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