Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Preparing

for

MARRIAGE

God’s Way

Lesson 2

Getting to Know You and You

Perhaps when you read that title you thought, “How complicated can this be? I already know myself and my partner pretty well.” Maybe so — but all of us are complex, and there’s always more to discover about ourselves and the person we love. Knowing yourself and your partner in a deep, honest way is essential to building real unity in marriage.

This session is all about exploring who you each are. Do each project on your own first, and write down what you learn. Then come together with your partner, share your answers, and talk through what you noticed — about the questions, about each other, and about yourselves.

This page is only for the person filling it out — your partner will complete their own copy separately.

Add photo here

Questionnaire 1: Reasons for Marriage

Questionnaire 2: Personal Character Inventory

Rate 0 to 5

0 means not at all, 5 means very much so.

You and Your Partner

Rate yourself first, then guess how your partner would rate themselves.

More Than 1 Apart?

That’s worth talking through together — just notice it for now.

Rate yourself and your partner on each quality below.

1. Patient

2. Accepting

3. Stubborn

4. Easily Annoyed

5. Resentful

6. Forgiving

7. Dominant

8. Self-Centered

9. Gentle

10. Pushy

11. A Good Listener

12. Reasonable

13. Considerate, Thoughtful

14. Loner

15. Depressive

16. Open

17. Expressive

18. Practical

19. Efficient

20. Neat, Orderly, Organized

21. Extravagant

22. Reliable, Dependable

23. Affectionate

24. Athletic

25. Handsome / Beautiful

26. Pleasant Voice

27. Musical

28. Good Dress Sense

29. Forgetful

30. Lazy

Questionnaire 3: Personality Inventory Chart

Rate 1 to 3

1 = slightly, 2 = usually, 3 = always.

You and Your Partner

Pick one number for yourself, one for how you see your partner.

For each pair below, rate yourself and your partner.

1. Fast

2. Slow

3. Outgoing

4. Reserved

5. Bold

6. Timid

7. Calm

8. Excitable

9. Expressive

10. Unexpressive

11. Optimistic

12. Pessimistic

13. Flexible

14. Rigid

15. Loner

16. People Person

17. Responsible

18. Irresponsible

19. Loud

20. Quiet

21. Logical

22. Sentimental

23. Outdoors

24. Indoors

25. Trusting

26. Cautious

27. Planner

28. Disorganized

29. Spender

30. Saver

Questionnaire 4: The Desirable Husband and Wife

Rate 0 to 4

0 = never, 1 = seldom, 2 = occasionally, 3 = often, 4 = always.

You and Your Partner

Rate yourself first, then rate your partner.

Be Honest

Don’t rate yourself too high or too low — see Romans 12:3.

Rate yourself and your partner on each statement below.

1. I am fully devoted to God; I have a deep and meaningful relationship with God.

2. I am loving.

3. I am joyful.

4. I am peaceful.

5. I am longsuffering.

6. I am gentle.

7. I am generous, willing to share.

8. I am kind.

9. I am faithful, trustworthy, dependable.

10. I am self-controlled, disciplined.

11. I am noble in character.

12. I am respected and valued by my family.

13. I am devoted and loyal to my family.

14. My family can depend on me.

15. I fulfill God-given family responsibilities.

16. I receive praise from my family and others.

17. I build up my family; I am an encourager.

18. I am devoted to ministering to others.

19. I am consistent and steadfast in doing right.

20. I am an industrious, hard worker.

21. I am unselfish.

22. I am more concerned about internal beauty than external beauty.

23. I take care of myself physically; I am concerned about my appearance, but not excessively so.

24. I am able to enjoy life; I am not a workaholic; I am a fun person to be with.

25. I am contented and satisfied; I desire growth and progress but am not overbearing about it.

26. I am courageous and confident.

27. I am considerate of others, communicating respect and concern for them.

28. My speech is constructive and wholesome.

29. I seek to grow in wisdom, to sharpen myself intellectually.

30. I exercise foresight; I plan ahead.

31. I handle money wisely; I practice good stewardship.

Questionnaire 5: Love’s Language

Rank 1 to 8

1 = most important, 7 or 8 = least important.

You and Your Partner

Rank for yourself, then guess how your partner would rank it.

Rank these ways of showing love below.

1. Helping

2. Spending time together, being there, doing things together, being willing to communicate

3. Saying it with words, expressing appreciation and admiration

4. Touching, caressing, kissing, physical contact

5. Being concerned about opinions, feelings, interests, desires, likes, dislikes; listening, sharing, cooperative, solicitous

6. Being loyal, faithful, protective, trustworthy, supportive, unselfish, responsible, keeping confidences, fulfilling promises and commitments

7. Meeting material and physical needs, taking care of possessions, giving gifts, giving birthday or anniversary cards, trading places, doing fix-it jobs, etc.

Questionnaire 6: How Do You Say “I Love You”

Complete each sentence in your own words — one or more ways.

Questionnaire 7: Common Interests and Activities

For each activity, note whether you both enjoy it, only one of you does, or neither of you does yet. It’s fine if some are blank for both of you — that just might be something new to try together.

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